I'm glad that I have a father whom I can argue to prove my point, unlike some overbearing fathers, who insist that they are always right, just because they contribute part of the DNA to form us. I remember on one ocassion where my dad and I were having our usual 'tiff'. I felt that he was being really unreasonable and unfair for scolding an innocent worker in the shopping mall. What my dad said afterwards was really a food for thought for me for the whole day and several days to come. He told me "Don't be too kind to people." This made me stop, not because I agreed with him but because it really struck me then and there, the essence of that sentence.
Am I too gullible and naive or am I too trusting? At the age of 20, maybe I haven't weathered enough storms and overcome enough obstacles to have doubts about people. All throughout my life, I have been surrounded by kind and trustworthy friends who have never betrayed me or done me any harm. As often as I've heard of stories of betrayals and backstabbing and catfights, I have never experienced those sense of betrayal or being backstabbed. It is little wonder that I find myself giving most of the people that I've met the benefit of the doubt. It makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Should I be more careful in placing my trust and confidence in people? Or should I doubt every thing that other people, apart from my family members and close friends, said?
At the back of my mind, I know that life cannot be this innocent and simple. I'm certain that my fair share of betrayals, backstabbing and disappointment will come. It is these things that are going to make me tougher later on in life. No matter how prepared a person can be, when the moment strikes one will still be devastated and disappointed. I only hope and pray that I wouldn't be the one that is going to inflict this pain upon others. I shudder to think that later on, at 40, I would have encountered enough of these experiences to be telling my kids to not be too kind to other people.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
OF CHICKENS AND DUCKS
"Nay count la?" Sa Ye never failed to ask me that every day at work. That's "How're you?" in Myanmarese language. He could tell if I was happy or not by the look on my face. If, somehow, my bad mood was reflected on my face, he would just asked "You not happy today?" And that would normally put a smile back on my face.
I have my family, friends, comfort and luxuries here. I'm in my own country working 8 & a half hours a day and drawing a much higher pay than them, who are working a minimum of 12 hours a day. And yet, they were the ones that cheered me up at work every day with their jovial faces, constant singing and contented laughter. It made me ashamed of myself. Their occasional thoughtful and nostalgic looks reminded me of what I have and what they don't.
The broken, word-by-word sentences were simple but were as clear as daylight. It took me some time to understand them at first. When you've gotten used to the way they speak, conversing with them can be quite fun and satisfactory. Satisfactory because both parties could get their message across and received a reply! Imagine a duck can understand and reply to what a chicken is speaking.
"You here I happy. You my best friend." So simple but yet it touched me more than a poem could have had. I could string a perfect sentence together but I could never be as expressive and sincere as them. All I could do was to nod my head and beam with pride because I felt really proud that I was considered a friend.
I have my family, friends, comfort and luxuries here. I'm in my own country working 8 & a half hours a day and drawing a much higher pay than them, who are working a minimum of 12 hours a day. And yet, they were the ones that cheered me up at work every day with their jovial faces, constant singing and contented laughter. It made me ashamed of myself. Their occasional thoughtful and nostalgic looks reminded me of what I have and what they don't.
The broken, word-by-word sentences were simple but were as clear as daylight. It took me some time to understand them at first. When you've gotten used to the way they speak, conversing with them can be quite fun and satisfactory. Satisfactory because both parties could get their message across and received a reply! Imagine a duck can understand and reply to what a chicken is speaking.
"You here I happy. You my best friend." So simple but yet it touched me more than a poem could have had. I could string a perfect sentence together but I could never be as expressive and sincere as them. All I could do was to nod my head and beam with pride because I felt really proud that I was considered a friend.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
TOUCHED, INSPIRED, CHEERED
I just want to preserve my thoughts,memories and feelings now. I'm afraid that if I close my eyes, memories of the past 2 months of my life will not be as fresh anymore.
You know how in 'Angels & Demons' it was said that there're opposites of everything; positive & negative, male & female, matter& anti-matter, happiness & sadness. Then, there's also meeting and parting. I wouldn't say I like the meeting part immensely-and definitely not the parting part- but I sure enjoy the journey in between, after the meeting and before the parting. As much as I want to keep the parting at bay, I know that it's inevitable. It always comes.
Now, I know how authors feel when they have to end their book. It's difficult to end it because they've become attached to it in the process. I have to end a chapter of my life now and move on and continue living the rest of the story of my life. I know I will move on but right now, I just want to pause for awhile and act all clingy and sentimental.
You know how in 'Angels & Demons' it was said that there're opposites of everything; positive & negative, male & female, matter& anti-matter, happiness & sadness. Then, there's also meeting and parting. I wouldn't say I like the meeting part immensely-and definitely not the parting part- but I sure enjoy the journey in between, after the meeting and before the parting. As much as I want to keep the parting at bay, I know that it's inevitable. It always comes.
Now, I know how authors feel when they have to end their book. It's difficult to end it because they've become attached to it in the process. I have to end a chapter of my life now and move on and continue living the rest of the story of my life. I know I will move on but right now, I just want to pause for awhile and act all clingy and sentimental.
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